Thursday, September 27, 2012

Trip to New York...

Yesterday, I went to see my surgeon because I have been experiencing pain & severe heart palpitations for a few days. To go into the city the way I was feeling was horrifying especially alone. But, this had to be done. My surgeon said " everything's fine". To take tylenol. On Wednesday, when I received a call from the nurse they said " Your not suppose to have pain a month in a half later." She suggested me to come in. If I would of known he was just going to tell me this and have a 5 second look, I would of stayed home and just talked with him on the phone. Turns out I had to get blood work done anyway.  Sometimes I just get discouraged because of my experience this summer.

I'll admit this is taken a huge toll on me. I am having a rough time. I made a mistake, should of went to my endocrinologist instead. But, The truth is im scared. So I couldn't think straight. Honestly, I hate talking about the " C" word. It scares the $hit out of me and makes me feel so uncomfortable.  My biggest fear is the cancer " spreading."  All I do is worry. I'm a nervous wreck.

I finally got home yesterday and my hearts still racing like a lunatic. Every minute I walk my hearts racing, even my hands were shaking. I didn't feel right. Honestly, I hate when people say " Its all in my mind." " Going to the city is a lot for you."  Its pathetic. I know my body. I know what I can tolerate and it got to the point last night where I couldn't do it anymore. My heart was going to jump out of my skin. I was scared, freaking out and having those bad sweats. AWFUL.  So, I decided to call my endo but it was 530pm. I had to speak to some on call Dr. (after hours). He told me to go to the ER. I didnt listen until 10pm I called him again and said Im going. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

Of course the moment I get there my BP is high but then when he lady came to do an EKG on me it was NORMAL. I was hysterical couldn't believe it. Then it started up again ( see this comes and goes) but mostly during the day its constant.  Finally a miracle happens I get a NORMAL Dr. If you know my experience you would know why I said NORMAL. He actually listened. He knew what was wrong. He said I was HYPERthyroidism, because all my symtoms show that the level of thyroxine is to high. I was told to lower my dose of thyroxine. He even gave me a script for a beta blocker to stop the heart palps. If the heart palpitations don't stop then I will have to see a cardiologist. :(

This morning... at 9am I called my Endo's office where I get treated in NYC. Finally they call me back and its a NURSE not my ENDO. Every time I call I speak with a NURSE not my Endo. I havent spoken to my ENDO since after surgery. I met with him once that was it. This makes me feel uncomfortable because I want to understand everything and speak with HIM not the NURSE.

Apparently, I am not the ONLY one going through this. A few people I have spoken to have my ENDO and feel the same way. Lately, this been on my mind a lot so I decided I am going to get a back up Endocrinologist in my local area. Someone that I can speak DIRECTLY to because I really need to know what all this means. That is one of the main reasons why I am overwhelmed because I am confused. However, I am going to stay where I am at my cancer center it just I feel SAFER with a BACK UP PLAN.  And, I hope the heart palpitations STOP! The last thing I need to do right now is see a cardiologist.

till then Life is a waiting game.... I got to wait this out take one day at a time.

Ciao- Danielle

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