Lately, I havent been getting much sleep. I am always exhausted. Maybe its the pills. I dont know. Yeah I know its been one month since surgery, but I really thought I was going to be fine. Well I havent been lifting any items yet. The reason for this is I have pain in my neck sometimes. This comes and goes. Mostly at night. It is very hard to sleep considering I cannot lay the way Im used to which is on my side. Totally impossible.
Here is whats really got to me the last few weeks. Relationships & Friendships. When it comes down to being with someone who is "SICK" why do people run away so fast? I get it its so hard for a "MALE" to deal with " issues". I think thats why they back away so fast because they are " scared" maybe? I dont know the reason but it has to stop eventually. Don't you wonder sometimes if " the right one will come along" and just accept it. I do and I honestly don't believe someone will ACCEPT the fact that I have cancer. Maybe I am wrong but this world is so cruel out there. As far as Friendships. Since you know I am still fairly new to this diagnosis, I lost a few friends that I thought where my really good friends. All because of the " C" word. People who I talked to on a daily basics no longer talk to me. This is so hurtful. Someone said " Well maybe they dont know what to say." or they are "Afraid to hurt you". Comon! Everyone is just to immature. For the people that come around when they want to.. Im sorry you are no longer part of my life. This is my new life. I have to move on and you dont deserve to be part of my life. Either a. you are just being nosy. b. you dont care because you haven't stayed in touch with me. I am that type of person who forgives. But, I am sorry I cannot be around people who are like that.
This is the perfect quote:
"TRUE FRIENDS ARE NOT THE ONES WHO ARE THERE WHEN ITS CONVENIENT. TRUE FRIENDS ARE THERE WHEN ITS NOT."
Tomorrow is going to be a long day for me. I am looking forward to the 2 live show's about Thyroid Cancer. It is always good to gain more knowledge.. perfect timing to learn about RAI ( Radio Active Iodine) before treatment in December. Kudos to THYCA and Stupid Cancer!
Until then... I am off to sleep.