Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Storm...

To describe the last 6 years, my life has been a " STORM". Although I keep thinking " Good things happen to good people". Honestly, that doesn't for me anymore.

Today was a bad day.

Im young, I want to finish college more than anything.  I realized I cannot fight this battle this time. I have to SLOW DOWN!  I have to learn to accept the fact that I have the " C" word. NOW is not the TIME. WAY too soon for me considering it all happened in two months.

 Today, I went to college for ASL CLUB ( not for classes) unfortunality.  I been part of this for years. I enjoy what I do. What I love most is helping others to succeed in ASL. I finally get to school by bus without my wheelchair ( big mistake). I knew it was going to rain so I couldn't take it.   That meant I had to walk 4 blocks. Then I had to walk onto campus. THAT'S HUGE! Since I just had surgery 3 weeks ago. But in my mind I want to help these people and get things on track. I push and push until I COLLAPSED. That's exactly what happened today. Walking was a lot for me today its drained me out. All of sudden I started sweating and getting really hot. I felt like I was going to pass out. My face was burning up on fire ( been doing that for years) who the hell knows why.  Today, it was just a few of us board members discussing whats coming up for club since school just started today. I was so out it. I couldn't really concentrate. I was confused most of the time too.


All of sudden my hearts starts racing but I am sitting down at a desk. I felt like I was about to pass out again. The meeting was only 30 minutes and I was sitting the entire time.  Then stupid me lol
( because if you know me you know how I am). I went to an office on the other side of campus to make photo copies because I am a NEAT FREAK maybe I have OCD issues. LOL. Then I went to another office to get paper's. As I was walking out of the last office THANK GOD ( both offices where in the same building). LOL. I started sweating so bad NEVER IN MY LIFE dripping sweat. I get out a water bottle and I had to sit down.  I felt dizzy and nauseous. I knew any second I was about to pass out.  The weather was hot/muggy but then it started to pour. Finally I get home at 2pm I called dad and he picked me up so I didn't have to walk.  My heart feels like its going to come out of my CHEST!

I had to get in bed immediately when I got home.  In between all this on the bus I forgot to mention I called the Dr's office because now im getting concerned about how I am feeling.  The AC on the bus was on SKY HIGH. I was still dripping sweat and my heart was racing like crazy. I called the office and the secretary said they never got my blood work from last week. Like did  I need this right now? NO! I had to call her back with the Lab's number.

Stupid me decides to get blood work done last week at my LOCAL LAB! GOD HELP ME. I was making it EASIER because its very difficult to travel 2 hours away where my hospital is to take 1 tube of blood work, which takes a second! Well I guess GOD is punishing me now. I thought things would work out. Turns out IM WRONG AGAIN! I called back the Dr's office they had to call the lab. The lab said to them they send it over. OBVIOUSLY the number 1 CANCER hospital in the world wouldn't be  lying to me when they are so damn concerned! I cannot believe the LAB was aruging with my Dr's office when they are amazing and on tract about everything. See im the moron LONG ISLAND, NY SUCKS MY FRIENDS. I shouldn't of went to that LAB.  You would think I would learn from the mistake the OTHER LAB when they misdiagnosed me this summer but NO I was making it easier for my father.

 SO NOW because of this DRAMA and because my life can never have  NORMALCY. I am going to go to my cancer hospital to get the blood work done. This is ridiculous. I am still waiting for the nurse and dr to call me back. They said they will call me first thing in the morning.

Great day huh?  I am not one to complain. Honestly, I am just trying to live my life like a NORMAL 26 year old would do but NO that cant happen anytime soon so I just have to accept this. But this is way too soon. This is HARD REALLY HARD.

Then LOL Im laughing because I think its ridiculous. I am with the students which was five of us.  They knew that I just had surgery and that I have you know what. They asked me a few questions. I started telling them how I couldn't believe alot of "WOMEN" have this more than MEN. So of course someone said " NO YOUR WRONG." I am a nurse I know. I like um the entire time I was at the CANCER HOSPITAL. All I saw was "WOMEN". Not one male. Literrally ARGUING WITH ME meanwhile IM THE ONE with THE CANCER NOT HER! Then I explained to her that she is " WRONG", regardless if she was a nurse or not.  Still she is  ARGUING with me telling me that im "WRONG". That THYCA is  "NOT COMMON for women to have." LOL.  I sware no one can make this SHIT UP! I was sitting there saying " IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING."

Lately, I am getting tired of people telling me this and that. OBVIOUSLY I WOULD KNOW! I am the one going through it not you!  Am I right? Am I getting annoyed for no reason? I dont think so. People just dont know when to keep there mouths shut. They think they know EVERYTHING. NEWS FLASH " YOU REALL DONT".   THAT ANNOYED ME and made my day worst lol.

Oh I forgot to mention. Ever since I been sick I been having memory issues. BUT- ever since the new " cancer diagnosis" and surgery its 100x worst. IS THIS NORMAL? It better be because I am about to loose it. Yes its that bad. I cant remember a damn thing its not like im 90 im 26! LOL. I forgot to mention that to the nurse today. But honestly I have to write down when I take my medication because I cannot remember if I woke up at 7am to take it. Then today I dont remember if I ate or not! What the hell is happening to me? So bazaar.


Here's an article I wanted to share about the difference between Hypo and Hyperthyroidism.
Check it out.
Hypothyroidism vs Hyperthyroidism Differences in Signs, Symptoms

Also I heard about this website called Standup2cancer which is an organization. All donations goes to Cancer Research which I think is AWESOME! Turns out they have a show every year for CANCER RESEARCH. I had no idea. I think this is neat. So this Friday I will be watching for the first time.


Lastly, Today I received get well pictures from my twin cousins Kagen and Ella. They are five years old. This made my day and put a big smile on my face. Perfect timing kids!

Hoping tomorrow will be a better day!


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